Lose Myself
by SpazzyNinjaSpork
Summary: This time the kiss lasted longer, though I'd agree we both found it too short. I know for a fact that I found it to be the fastest, yet longest, moment of my life. [RoxasxNamine] [Oneshot]


A/N:  
I'm pretty sure that I listened to one too many songs on my 'angsty playlist' while I wrote this XD And I wrote it at like, 1 AM, so apologies for if it's bad.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, and if this is like any other fic out there then I apologize, and it's mere coincidence.

* * *

"Roxas?" 

Her eyes were very wide, and very, _very _blue. I had noticed that the second I had met her. The color was defined by these eyes, these deep eyes that I've gotten lost in countless times. The moment I turned to her, her eyes expressing her beaming expression better than her very smile, I felt myself begin to drown in her eyes, and my entire world crumbled around us and the entirety of the world became just her as a whole.

"Namine?" I finally conjured myself out of drowning in her eyes and replied. I looked down at the ground. As I did, a loose strand of my unruly hair fell into my eyes. I brushed it away.

She placed a hand on mine, knowing I would turn to her out of instinct. I did, and did my best not to drown in her eyes, which were even closer to me now.

"Is this how you kiss someone?"

And suddenly, her lips were linked with mine, my astonishment not melting away in time enough to make anything more passionate, for she pulled away after a brief instant.

When my brain turned to backup power and I came back to reality, I saw her grinning slyly next to me. She was shorter than me, thus I was looking slightly down upon her. The angle, though I saw nothing I wasn't supposed to, still sent my world spinning. She just looked so..._cute. _So damn innocent. After everything she had done over these years, I was amazed at how fast the life we now lived on Destiny Islands had cured her.

Namine giggled softly, breaking the silence of the night. "Roxas," she said quietly. "Is it?"

I felt my head shake, and I heard myself answer, "No, it's not."

I placed my hands on her shoulders and brought us closer. As my hands began to cross around her neck, our lips touched, and soon we were locked together. Her hands on my upper back, not holding me to her, but just residing there.

This time the kiss lasted longer, though I'd agree we both found it too short. I know for a fact that I found it to be the fastest, yet longest, moment of my life.

As we pulled away, her breathing slightly heavy, she merely said, "Oh. How silly of me."

My arms, suddenly feeling heavy, untangled from around her neck. She had let go of me as well.

She stood. "It's late. I should leave."

My breath barely formed audible sounds, much less words. I blinked, then nodded. "M-Me too," I managed out, standing up as well.

"Well, see you tomorrow," she said, turning to me with another smile. This time her eyes were closed. I had nothing to lose myself in.

And we parted.

* * *

Dressed in black, we entered the church. I couldn't look at anyone. Ever since Kairi had called me, that evening, ever since I heard that--

Since then, I had had a perpetual feeling of both falling and flying, along with the ever-continual urge to throw up. I passed through my horde of teenage friends, all whom had expected to speak to me, preparing a monologue of how sorry they were for me. Whatever had _posessed _them that I would _talk? _That I would _socialize, _at a gathering such as this, as this...this...this fu--

An adult turned to me. Now it wasn't so much that I couldn't look at people. I had to look a people now, to get them to move. It was more that I couldn't see anyone's face. No, not just their face. Their entire body was eclipsed to a blur of black, blue, and blonde. The urge to throw up increased.

_Focus, _I told myself, _someone's speaking to you._

"They say it was an aneurysm," the adult said. Oh, God, no. They're talking to me about it. I supressed the urge to throw up, feeling the burning in my throat, and a different burning around my eyes. I swayed slightly, feeling that strand of dirty-blonde hair fall into my eyes again. Damn strand. I didn't need anything else at that time. My hand, balled up into a fist, raised itself to the center of my chest.

_Is that person still talking to me...? _I wondered, looking around. Now it was all just black. Nothingness.

"This is what Namine sees."

Whoever said that--even if it was I, just speaking my own thoughts, or someone from a different realm, unlike our own--must not have known what it would do to me. My head went limp, falling back, not foward. My knees buckled, and I fell to the ground, the unyeilding urge to throw up being beaten down by my urge to cry. And I was. Tears streaming down my red face, as I silently sobbed there, on the floor of the church, surrounded by a black mass of voices and people that I felt no connection to.

I inhaled. Someone called out my name. I made no effort to connect the voice with a name, or a face. For this was the reality: she wasn't gone. There was no _possible way _someone like that could abandon me. She couldn't. It wasn't like her. No.

Where is she?

I looked around, struggling to stand up. Something in my mind said, _"Go foward. She is just ahead of you. So few steps between you and her."_

I did as I was told, even if I had been told subconsciously. I stepped foward. And another step, and another...making my way through a mass of black, dark onlookers. Whether the room had gone silent or sense of hearing had abandoned, I will never know.

And then, I was there.

I was there, standing in front of the casket, her pale face visible. My breath quickened. Her perfect blonde hair was tidy, her unwrinkled dress the color of newly fallen snow.

The true reality had broken through. This was Namine, in front of me. This was Namine. The Namine who brightened the planet with her smile, who risked everything for my happiness, who loved me as I loved her, who's eyes I could lose myself in.

Only this time, her eyes were closed. I had nothing to lose myself in.

And we parted.

* * *

A/N: For some reason, this came out with a lot of elements from _Looking for Alaska_. I only got the method of death from that book. o-o Yeah...anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! 


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